That line has been buzzing around in my head since last night. So much for deep, meaningful context.
I haven't gone to sleep at 4am in a long while, and I have three days or so left in Patna, I think my father is genuinely going to miss me because he gave me a peck on the cheek before leaving for work. It was very bristly and I was very sleepy.
Been reading the Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory. I hate e-books. I wish I had more money so I could buy paperbacks. If I ask my parents for more money to spend on Flipkart, I'm not too sure of what they'd think. My mother is sure that I'm addicted to some sort of recreational drug, and I may have inadvertently told my father that Sam and I walked in on a naked German dude at the Singapore hostel. However, when I told him that story he countered that with a story about how some place in Thailand had live-action movies for forty-five minutes a day, so I'm not really sure if he caught what I was saying.
I have several urges bottled up inside me. The one that I can talk about on my blog is about how I want Bhanka to come see my school. I never thought that I'd ever be friends with someone from LMG, let alone a glamour-stud-types like her who walked on the ramp and never wears floaters, but also shatters the pretty-but-stupid stereotype by being brainy and owning a mathematical dictionary.
Who does that?
Own a dictionary on math, I mean. I called her up once to ask her what the integration of something was and she answered instantaneously. Apparently it's all there in the dictionary. Anyway.
I want her to come see my school and then I will go see hers. I've been in LMG, barely. Kicked down a door, wandered around during Creation but I want a real tour this time.
I also want to see Delhi properly. I have some sort of mostly unexplained and trivial issues with the city, mostly because Shrey and Sid keep dissing Calcutta, so Shubhanka and I have to keep dissing Delhi, but seriously at some point the Montague-Capulet Delhi-Calcutta feud has to stop. I also want to travel back to Singapore. I thought nothing would beat a school trip, turns out college trips are better. Sure, weekends away have their own charm but to have an entire week or so away to explore a place with friends, I want to do that. Again. Without the pesky MUN in the way.
I also want to take a trip with my parents. The last time we went anywhere it was a Temple tour in South India, I was horribly sleepy and nauseous through the whole thing, and also, we had a four-year-old (The Tiny Cousin) and an eighty-year-old (The Mean Grandmother) on the trip, not to mention Tiny Cousin's parents, and it was just chaotic and there was too much idli-sambar-vada-pongal to seriously savour anyone's company. I don't think we understand each other at all. The same theory can be applied indiscriminately to my entire family.
I want one of those families. The ones who go to a log cabin in the winter and do fun, bonding-type things together. Everyone is affectionate and in love, and there are no major fights, no people avoiding each other. Someday I shall marry into a big loving family and they shall regard me with suspicion first, because I shall be stealing their darling son, but then they will come to love and accept me, because, let's face it, I'm so lovable, just a little quirky, but you just have to love me.(I'm petulant and cranky if not given attention.)
The charm of daydreaming about a blissful domestic future is diminished somewhat in the presence of boyfriend. Either you imagine him in the daydream with you, which is sure to freak either one of you out (or if he doesn't freak out, that will freak me out, I don't know, this entire situation is fraught with emotional land-mines), and also, if you picture nameless, faceless, lean physique model guy who is not your boyfriend in the said picture.. you know what. Things are going to be weird no matter how I phrase this. I shall quietly tuck away my wedding plans and for now, be content with daydreaming about the goddamn New Bus Stand in goddamn Vellore, which is where I'll goddamn see you again.
I haven't gone to sleep at 4am in a long while, and I have three days or so left in Patna, I think my father is genuinely going to miss me because he gave me a peck on the cheek before leaving for work. It was very bristly and I was very sleepy.
Been reading the Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory. I hate e-books. I wish I had more money so I could buy paperbacks. If I ask my parents for more money to spend on Flipkart, I'm not too sure of what they'd think. My mother is sure that I'm addicted to some sort of recreational drug, and I may have inadvertently told my father that Sam and I walked in on a naked German dude at the Singapore hostel. However, when I told him that story he countered that with a story about how some place in Thailand had live-action movies for forty-five minutes a day, so I'm not really sure if he caught what I was saying.
I have several urges bottled up inside me. The one that I can talk about on my blog is about how I want Bhanka to come see my school. I never thought that I'd ever be friends with someone from LMG, let alone a glamour-stud-types like her who walked on the ramp and never wears floaters, but also shatters the pretty-but-stupid stereotype by being brainy and owning a mathematical dictionary.
Who does that?
Own a dictionary on math, I mean. I called her up once to ask her what the integration of something was and she answered instantaneously. Apparently it's all there in the dictionary. Anyway.
I want her to come see my school and then I will go see hers. I've been in LMG, barely. Kicked down a door, wandered around during Creation but I want a real tour this time.
I also want to see Delhi properly. I have some sort of mostly unexplained and trivial issues with the city, mostly because Shrey and Sid keep dissing Calcutta, so Shubhanka and I have to keep dissing Delhi, but seriously at some point the Montague-Capulet Delhi-Calcutta feud has to stop. I also want to travel back to Singapore. I thought nothing would beat a school trip, turns out college trips are better. Sure, weekends away have their own charm but to have an entire week or so away to explore a place with friends, I want to do that. Again. Without the pesky MUN in the way.
I also want to take a trip with my parents. The last time we went anywhere it was a Temple tour in South India, I was horribly sleepy and nauseous through the whole thing, and also, we had a four-year-old (The Tiny Cousin) and an eighty-year-old (The Mean Grandmother) on the trip, not to mention Tiny Cousin's parents, and it was just chaotic and there was too much idli-sambar-vada-pongal to seriously savour anyone's company. I don't think we understand each other at all. The same theory can be applied indiscriminately to my entire family.
I want one of those families. The ones who go to a log cabin in the winter and do fun, bonding-type things together. Everyone is affectionate and in love, and there are no major fights, no people avoiding each other. Someday I shall marry into a big loving family and they shall regard me with suspicion first, because I shall be stealing their darling son, but then they will come to love and accept me, because, let's face it, I'm so lovable, just a little quirky, but you just have to love me.(I'm petulant and cranky if not given attention.)
The charm of daydreaming about a blissful domestic future is diminished somewhat in the presence of boyfriend. Either you imagine him in the daydream with you, which is sure to freak either one of you out (or if he doesn't freak out, that will freak me out, I don't know, this entire situation is fraught with emotional land-mines), and also, if you picture nameless, faceless, lean physique model guy who is not your boyfriend in the said picture.. you know what. Things are going to be weird no matter how I phrase this. I shall quietly tuck away my wedding plans and for now, be content with daydreaming about the goddamn New Bus Stand in goddamn Vellore, which is where I'll goddamn see you again.
2 comments:
The last bit, I was doing that today. Lolling on couch and thinking about it. Even contemplated getting up and making a sketch of it, a plan of a house plus garden, a little holiday cabin by the sea. But I was too lazy to actually get up and get a pencil. And imagining faces you know makes it less perfect. Of course we must not admit this.
It just seems less probable and more real if you imagine a face. I don't want probability in my daydreams. Just perfection, no matter what.
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